Girl

I am a girl of wanton desire
leaning abandoned in bars.
I smell of stale cigarettes-
I make you want me.
But it is not me you want,
it is my infamy,
it is my underwear
pushed to the side.
I am not the girl you think,
and I wish you would ask me
because I would tell you.

I am a girl of anguish
running through fields of boys,
shirtless in shorts,
sunburnt and swearing.
I have grass on my dress
and dirt under my nails.
They say they’ll take me home
when they are done,
but home is the last place
I want to go.
They think to take me
is to have me
but I am something
they will never grasp.

I am a girl across borders
selling all I can just to live.
Lifting up my skirt
so you can see
what you make of me.
Eat my oranges,
my peaches,
my sweet bananas,
covered in spiders
that’ll kill you
in your sleep.
I speak in tongues
of darker skin
and wish you’d try
to comprehend.

I am a girl alone,
studded and complex,
on the sands of coastal beaches.
I’m catching a tan,
wanting to catch like a match.
I wouldn’t scream,
I’d shine through the flames
and burn down to ash,
hopefully, then you’d know.

I am a girl dreaming
Of being a fly
in the wind
Of being a worm
eating filth
Of being a shadow
chasing the sun.

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